In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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