I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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