I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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