soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The adults are the big ones right?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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