She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
