i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
