shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
