Porn is love you can see.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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