I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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