well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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