I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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