So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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