Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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