you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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