This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
