Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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