the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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