WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
