Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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