Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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