Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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