What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
