He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
