Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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