dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
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regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
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gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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