weddingsv make me drug and hornr
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize