ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
