Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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