where am i from again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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