I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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