Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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