found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
