Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
