Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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