Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
