i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
