Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
