talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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