She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
