considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
