I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
