Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
