Those balls look pretty dangerous.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
