Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize