I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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