Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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