Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
