Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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