i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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