just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I cut my penus on the lid.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
