I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize