I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize