We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
