Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
