I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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