She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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