i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
