Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He did a backflip because drugs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
